Steve's Science News

Technology can be upgraded

Steve science news 3-1-16

The overpowered rocket launcher picture

Technology can be upgraded in the ways which there can be smaller scales and bigger machines.  Technology can be upgraded that cars can fly because their engines are rockets. Technology can be upgraded in a way where there’s bigger music machines and crazier technology.  Technology can be upgraded by making rocket launchers super overpowered like the picture above.

The fastest car in the world is going to be invented!

Steve announced this evening the plans for a rocket car.  This rocket car is going to be powered by “a ton of jet packs” and is expected to travel at a speed of 19 miles per hour… or more!  Steve announced that he was extremely excited with the project, stating that once the car is made it will go rocketing.

The construction of the car is simple:  It’s a normal car with a rocket on it.  When asked if the car could be operated more conventionally without the rocket, Steve indicated that this would not be an option, because the motor is also attached to the rocket.  This car will use gas for the regular engine and hydrogen peroxide for the rockets.



As the diagram shows, Buster from Mythbusters plays an important role in this project.  Buster has to be made out of metal and floppy so that he won’t catch on fire.  His usual wooden construction, while suited to his other job, is not ideal for this application.  In this car, Buster connects the car to the jet pack in order to keep the car’s center of gravity in the middle, which is seen as ideal.  This will keep the car from spinning out of control and from reaching dangerous speeds. Without Buster, there’s a real danger that this rocket car will bump into other rocket cars as well as more conventional vehicles.

Safety measures include seat belts and pads on every side of the car so nobody gets hurt.  There will also be 12 air bags on the inside of the car for security.  Steve has indicated that he will not even consider including an ejection seat because it will result in the passengers being thrown out and burned by the jet pack.

The expected price for this car will be $2.  This low price point is intended to make it possible for the “man-on-the-street” to purchase one.  In 29 years, if the business is successful, the price may be raised to $4, and in another 29 years it will rise to its highest maximum price of $10.  Steve expects that the price difference between his rocket car and typical cars will result in booming business.

“It’s like having a car with square wheels but more fun!” said Steve, ending his remarks.


The 3P0 mission to Pluto

In 2020, somebody yet to be determined is expected to fly a manned mission to the dwarf planet Pluto.  The 3P0 mission, as it’s been dubbed, has as its goal the marking of every crater that has been created on Pluto by meteors.  As there are tons of craters on this tiny world, mission planners foresee having this mission take a month or two so that all of the “nooks and crannies” can be explored.  If the mission cannot be accomplished in this time, the astronauts will be required to place landmarks on each of the craters of the moon instead.

Sources close to the project expect that this mission will be great because it’s so complicated.  Detractors, on the other hand, believe that this mission will be difficult because the gravitational pull of Neptune may capture the ship and cause it to rocket to the surface of Neptune.  Noting that it’s hard to dodge the gravitational pull of Neptune, Steve gives the mission only a 10% chance of success.

Fortunately, the mission will cost only $4, a relative bargain in planetary exploration.  Additionally, NASA will have to find mission specialists in a yet-undetermined “astronaut place.”

Brilliant designer plans fastest fan in the universe

On May 3, 2015, famed scientist Steve released plans for a revolutionary new machine that will change all of our lives.

Dubbed “the fastest fan in the universe”, it will go “2,000 miles per second.”  This fan is a demonstration project with the intention of demonstrating how fast you can make air move a ton of fans.  Additionally, it will demonstrate air pressure.  On top of that, the intent is to give insight about water pressure, which is known to be just as strong as air pressure, but denser.  Steve noted, however, that water is not part of the design.

Here’s how the apparatus works:

In a bottom, sealed glass chamber, there will be a ton of fans blowing out into some more fans.  These fans, will in turn, blow the fans into tubes.  These tubes lead to a smaller dome in which there is another fan.  This fan will make the whole thing the fastest fan in the universe.


While scientists remain skeptical of Steve’s discovery, others are excited about the possibility of moving air through this fan at an estimated Mach 9,500, or about 1% the speed of light.  Steve’s indication that it will be made out of glass and fans and tubes, however, have won over many material scientists with its common sense approach.

This fan is expected to be finished in March 2016, and will be used for demonstration purposes only.

Space Exploration Just Got More Interesting!

Spaceflight has a new player.

Mommy’s boss Al announced a bold new approach to space exploration today. Dubbed “Satellite 100”, the planned project will save money by combining manned space travel with weather data collection.

The timeline for this program is extremely ambitious, with an expected launch date only 30 days away. The first ten days of the project will be headed by Mommy as she selects a team of five, and the next 17 days will involve the actual construction of the satellite in a big room full of machinery and fire. The trickiest part of assembly will come on day 11 of the project, when some wires will need to be cut.

Equally ambitious are the funding plans for Satellite 100. With Everybody pitching in, the expected cost is expected to be $18 dollars. However, an anonymous GAO source who has worked on space procurement in the past indicates that overruns may stretch into the tens of dollars over the course of the project. When asked for a response, Sat100 spokesman Steve indicated only that costs would be kept low by limiting the weight of the satellite to 700 pounds and by having the team provide their own hammers and jackhammers.

Leaked schematics of Satellite 100 show its general layout, as well as the expected height of 100 feet.

Leaked schematics of Satellite 100 show its general layout, as well as its expected height of 100 feet.

Expected to launch in 27 days, Satellite 100 will be filling a variety of goals. In order to ensure accurate weather data collection, there will be a window in the satellite that astronauts can point cameras out of. On the other hand, the astronauts on this mission will spend their time “shaking down” the system to see if it works, mostly by having fun and floating around. Steve was quick to mention, however, that while it might be funny to forecast Martian weather, a safety thingee would be installed to ensure that this didn’t happen.

The crew of this exciting new project has yet to be selected, but will consist of between 1-3 members of the assembly team. If selected, the yet-unnamed 20-year-old crewmember will be the youngest person ever to travel in space. However, with also-unnamed but allegedly seasoned 60- and 58-year-old members on the assembly team, insiders believe that the first crew will be older than most.

Though just announced, this program has already aroused controversy with its vague plans. Though there is apparently a location for both assembly and launch, neither has been released with Steve indicating only that “we’ll put them anywhere [we] want.” Equally uncertain is the planned method of reentry. Though a source close to the project has said a rover will be used to lower the astronauts to the landing site, he conceded that they hadn’t yet succeeded in stuffing it in there.

Industry response was swift and colorful. Though NASA had no official comment, one inside suggests that the mission was far too ambitious. On the other hand, SpaceX CEO Elon Musk praised the mission as “providing a welcome boost to our shared mission of journeying to the stars.”